Me blogging!? The Boxes I have put myself in.

This is crazy to me, all through school I didn't like writing, I was home schooled and my mom writes a lot, she enjoys it, I think she would do it all day if she could. So in school she had us journal and blog, I never really liked it, I also TYPE SO SLOW. I always had trouble with reading, spelling, and didn't like English. I have dyslexia and I let that be my excuse, it was to hard and I told myself I was not good at it. When it came to writing I put myself in a box, me nobody else told me I wasn't good enough, there was nobody else to blame but me. I had all the excuses why I shouldn't write and share with people on a blog. But here I am at 25 and I feel impressed to blog. I have been writing some stuff down for myself to remember and to share with my Church, I shared them with my mom and she told me they were good, she thought and I should think about writing blogs. My first thought was putting myself right back in that box, the I can't write box, nothing I have to share would be worth sharing. But I thought about it and I want to write down my thoughts and story's, for me, so I remember God's blessing in my life. And if it blesses someone else that is amazing, so here's to sharing. I am tired of putting my self in boxes. Some boxes I have put myself in and others I feel like people put me in, but I let them put me in those boxes. I am going to share two of my boxes that were on my mind today.

Family box:

I am the second oldest of 5 girls, but up until I was 13 I was the middle child. I let that put me in a box. I wasn't the oldest, she could write better then I could, part of why I told myself it wasn't worth writing because I didn't think I was as good. I wasn't the youngest, she was funny could make anybody laugh, and she could sing like an angel. And there was me, who am I? I still struggle with that question. Both my sisters are married, I am not. It is easy to get down on myself, I always wanted to be a wife and mother that was my answer when people would ask what I wanted to do with my life. So seeing both my sisters have that and not me has been hard. I have told myself I'm not good enough, but those are lies I am telling myself. God has a plan for me and I just have to put my trust in Him, and know He has amazing plans for me. God is not putting me in a box, He has so many talents in me that I am scared to share and that is why I put myself in those boxes I think. I compare myself to people and if feel they are better why should I bother, I don't write cause I feel like others are better. I always say I can't sing cause my little sister is the singer not me.

Church box:

Growing up in the church, I feel people think you should know it all. I think sometimes it is hard to be that person, yes I know the truth. But people who come in and have this great story/testimony to remind them how God has worked in their life. And I ask myself whats my story and how has God worked in my life? That is why I want to blog, to write down my story so I can see how God is working in my life. I let the church put me in a box, I was one of the B*** girls, I was always okay with that. But now I am an adult, my sisters are gone and I am struggling to find my place. How do I get out of my box, of comfort. It scares me, I like my bubble but I want God to use me.

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things become new."  2 Corinthians 5:17

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13

I want to be that new creature and get rid of my old things, and I know I can do it with Christ's help. So this is my first step, to stepping out of my box, sharing my journey on my blog. And trying to get out of my " I CAN'T BOXES" changing the to " I CAN DO ALL THINGS THOUGH CHRIST". Here is to writing my new story. I can't spell, my punctuation is probably gonna drive you crazy, but I think this is what God is pushing me to do. I am thankful to my mom helping me see this is something I can do, Here is to writing my story.